One day a man goes to the beach

One day a man goes to the beach to get a tan, he is wearing no clothes 

except for a newspaper to cover his privates.

A little girl walk up to him and asks ”What is under the newspaper?”

The man replies ”Oh, that’s my birdy, don’t touch it.”

Soon after, he falls asleep.

When he woke up he realized he was in a hospital and he felt a tense pain

 in his private area.

He sees the little girl sitting beside his bed.

”What happened?” the man asks ”Oh, uh yeah when you fell asleep I went

 and played with your birdy but then it spat on me sooo.

I broke it’s neck, smashed it’s eggs and burned it’s nest.